About a year ago, Lance and I developed a theory to explain some peculiar behaviour that we observed in ourselves. Quite often, we’d find ourselves at Edmonton’s famous Southgate mall, because we are, and always have been, addicted to New York Fries’ famous poutine and found that particular chain to be the best of the best. While this is in-itself odd, it’s not what I’m referring to. However, while on these trips for poutine, almost invariably, one of us would always make a case to stop by at the mall’s HMV for the strangest of reasons: Kari Byron could be there.

Let me explain.

In case you didn’t already know who Kari Byron is (shame on you if this applies), she supplies the sexy sex appeal for the hit tv-series, Mythbusters. So, essentially, she’s the object of all nerd lechery. And I don’t think I’m exaggerating.

That aside, Lance knew a guy in Grade 12 who claimed to have seen the Mythbusters Build Team–which includes Tory Belleci, Grant Imahara, and, of course, Kari Byron–just outside of the WEM HMV. Lance’s friend claimed to have shook hands with the former two, but didn’t get a chance to meet Ms. Byron.

Now, while I’m suspicious of the credibility of the story, there can be no doubt that some part of it awoke some deep neuroses inside us. Because, now, every-time we find ourselves near enough to an HMV to justify it, we stop by to make sure Kari Byron isn’t there.

And now for our theory, the Kari Byron-HMV Uncertainty Principle: As long as you don’t occupy a space (ie. HMV), Kari Byron occupies every place you aren’t simultaneously, until you enter that space, which at that point, you either create or destroy her.

Now I know a lot of you are probably skeptical of our theory, mostly because you’ve been conditioned to disagree with everything an Arts student says, but trust us, this has been confirmed through numerous double-slit experiments, and several cats that were jettisoned into space to their deaths.

-Evan