While we’re on butts…
Thursday, August 27th, 2009
You might as well read Lance’s article about social hygiene that he wrote for the Gateway. You can read the full article here, but here’s a preview of what you can expect.
I realize now that there are certain activities I can do in public that people find unpleasant or offensive. I may not be an expert here, but I think a lot of disgusting things aren’t actually disgusting at all. In fact, as a person who routinely exercises many of these so-called disgusting behaviours, I might indeed be considered an expert.
Let’s take farting, for instance. What’s wrong with farting in public? I mean, old people let one loose in public all the time, so the obvious conclusion is that it’s their anal acoustics that have kept them alive for so long. Sure, I could go break wind in the nearest lavatory, but those can be so far away sometimes. Besides, farts can be painful to hold in, to a point that it is almost dangerous. I’ve heard, on good medical authority, that if you hold one in for too long, feces will literally explode out of your every orifice. Alright, I heard it from this seven-year-old kid I met in my swimming class, but I’m pretty sure he knows his stuff. After all, his parents are pressuring him to be a doctor some day.
-Evan